A little bit of angst and fluff, now that I've finally seen the movie and fallen in love with the Goldstein sisters.

Title: All I Ever Needed (Maybe Not All I Want)
Rating: PG
Fandom: Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them (Movies)
Characters/Pairings: Queenie Goldstein, Tina Goldstein, mention of Jacob and Newt. Queenie & Tina, Queenie/Jacob, Tina/Newt
Summary: "They didn't normally crawl into bed together. Not anymore, anyway. Not since they were little girls, really, with nobody in the world except each other. Well. A few times since then. Really bad days, here or there. Sometimes good ones, too." Queenie and Tina, after Jacob walks into the rain, and then after Newt sets sail for England. Goldsteins don't give up. Now while they have each other
Wordcount: 1383
Warnings/Notes: SPOILERS. Post-movie. Angst and fluff, comfort, sisters sharing a bed, loss, hope, decisions, determination, hopeful ending
Disclaimer: Not mine

All I Ever Needed (Maybe Not All I Want)

They didn't normally crawl into bed together. Not anymore, anyway. Not since they were little girls, really, with nobody in the world except each other. Well. A few times since then. Really bad days, here or there. Sometimes good ones, too. Days when ... when there were two lovely men occupying their other room, for example. Days like that.

And other days, sadder days, when those two lovely men were gone again.

The evening after Jacob walked into the rain, they'd curled up together. Tina'd settled Newt back into the other room first, of course, they'd set him up safe again, but Newt had his creatures to mind him, had wanted just his creatures while he was hurting, and a day like that they'd really ... they'd really just needed each other. Her and Tina. Queenie'd really just needed her sister, and Tina had needed her in turn.

Losing Jacob. Losing Credence. Almost being killed. Almost being executed. Almost having to listen to it happen. Yeah. They'd needed each other. They'd needed each other desperately.

"I'm so sorry, Queenie," Tina'd whispered, holding her tight. Meaning Jacob. Meaning Picquery and MACUSA and the inescapability of the law. Meaning a kiss that only one of them would ever remember.

"I know, honey," Queenie'd whispered back. "I am too." Meaning Credence. Meaning Graves. Meaning how, if not for Newt and his Swooping Evil, she would have been too late. Meaning how she'd almost had to listen as Tina died. "Oh, Teen. I'm sorry too."

That was it. That was all. They'd never needed to say more. They knew each other better than that. Even Tina, who couldn't hear Queenie's pain the way Queenie could hear hers. She knew it anyway. She always had. So they didn't need more than that. Just a little time. A little space. A little bed to curl up in, Queenie in her nightie and Tina in her flannel pajamas, and some time to cry into each other's arms. Some time to sleep, curled up around each other. Some time to wake up, and help each other smile, and get ready to go out and face the world again.

It was ... it was safe, you see. That was the thing. Ever since their parents died, ever since they'd been little girls and all alone, that little space, curled in bed together, had been the safest in all the world. It was all they needed to keep going. It was all they needed to pick themselves back up.

And that was why, when Newt left too, when he went back to England to do ... whatever he needed to do, they found themselves curled up in it again. They found themselves curled around each other, all alone again, with the last of their lovely men suddenly an ocean away. Jacob was lost to memory, and now Newt to England as well. The sudden emptiness of the other room was a horrible tug on both their thoughts, and without any word at all they'd curled up together to get away from it. Curled back into their little bed, and the comfort of the one person in their lives who had never, ever left.

But it wasn't ... it wasn't as bad, she thought. This time. For some reason, even though they'd just lost that last other thing, it didn't feel as bad.

"... He said he'd come back," Tina whispered quietly. Not hopefully. She was trying so hard not to be hopeful. She wasn't succeeding very well. "He said he'd ... he'd bring me a copy of his book. In person. He said he'd come back."

Queenie bit her lip. She felt it, the glow of Tina's tentative happiness in her own chest. She'd known. Well, hoped. Newt was ... very bad at this, but his mind ... and Tina's. She'd hoped. She'd heard them both. She'd hoped. And he'd made a promise. She didn't think he made too many of those, not to people who weren't creatures in his care. That was ... good. That was very good. There was hope in that, and Tina deserved a bit of hope, and happiness too.

And so ... so did she. You know what, damn it, so did she.

"... I, um," she said. Mumbled, really, uncharacteristically hesitant. Tina tilted her head on the pillow to look at her, soft and hopeful and concerned, and somehow Queenie found herself smiling. She couldn't help it. She pressed her lips together and said, more firmly this time: "I was thinking of going out tomorrow? To, um. To the bakery. I was ... I was thinking of doing that."

And it was ... it was a question. She was asking, not telling. For this, she had to be. They didn't ask each other for permission, they'd never been like that, but ... but it'd been Tina who'd almost died last time. It had been Tina down in that execution chamber, and the laws against relationships with no-majs ... It was the law, and last time it'd been Tina who'd almost died. So Queenie was asking. She was giving her sister a chance to say no, because she'd listened to that soundless cry once, and she was never planning on listening to it again.

But Tina ... Oh. Oh Tina. Tina stilled, went stiff and careful in her arms, and Queenie could hear her worry, could hear her fear, but then ... then. Something firmed. Tina's chin came up, something solid and determined inside her, and something went soft in Queenie's chest. Something went soft, and damp, and desperately, desperately warm.

"Okay," Tina said, and there was a shake in it, there was a little quiver from somebody who'd already almost been executed once before, but there was no doubt. There was no hesitation. Tina looked over at her, in their little bed, tiny and terrified and so damned brave. "Okay," she said, meaning I'll die for you, and Queenie very nearly burst into tears. She didn't. She hugged Tina instead, pulled her in close and held her tight, but she didn't cry. Not because crying would have been bad, but just because ...

Because this wasn't for crying over. Not this. Never this. This was where they cried for everything else, and this was where ... where they put each other back together again, and reminded each other how to smile. So, no. No, she wasn't going to cry. Not for this.

She just ... she loved her sister a lot. With all her heart, all her soul. There'd never been anyone else who would do anything for her the way Tina would, never anyone for whom she would return the favour just as fervently. In all her life, there'd never been anyone she loved more than she loved her sister.

Except maybe ... they weren't there yet, maybe they wouldn't be, he didn't even remember her, but maybe, one day ...

Maybe one day she could love Jacob as much. Not more, but as much. Maybe. Maybe one day Tina could love Newt too. Because they'd had ... for a little while, they'd had those two lovely men, and it had been ...

Well. It had been lovely, that's what it had been. It had been warm, and happy, and lovely, and Queenie wanted that again. All she needed was Tina, was her sister, but there was more to life than just what a body needed. It wasn't bad to want. Even if it was dangerous, even if it was against the law, it wasn't bad to want. There was more to being right than just the law.

And even if there wasn't, between the law and Jacob, Tina and Jacob and Newt, their little family that they'd had for so little time ... Queenie knew which she was picking. Every time.

"We have to be careful," Tina whispered, warm and solid beside her, scared and determined and trying so hard not to be hopeful. "You have to be so careful, Queenie. But okay. We can do this. We can get them back. It's worth it. We can do this."

Queenie beamed at her, leaned over to feather a kiss to her sister's hair. "Yes," she said, meaning nothing more and absolutely nothing less. "Yes, we can."

Because they had each other still, and that was all a Goldstein had ever needed to face the world and every little thing in it.
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
Account name:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.


Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.


icarus_chained: lurid original bookcover for fantomas, cropped (Default)

Most Popular Tags

Powered by Dreamwidth Studios

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags