Tiny Hobbit Crack Ficlet?

Vaguely inspired by today's comment_fic theme of 'weapons', but I've been meaning to do this one for a while. Um. Apologies in advance?

Title: On Omelettes
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: The Hobbit (movieverse)
Characters/Pairings: Bilbo, Bombur, Dwalin, Ori, Balin, Thorin's Company, assorted Tooks. Bilbo & Bombur, Balin & Dwalin.
Summary: Bilbo interrupts an argument between Bombur and Dwalin to explain the hobbit approach to ancestral weaponry, and the insanity of more or less the entire Took line. Or, why frying pans are a hobbit's weapon of choice
Wordcount: 898
Warnings/Notes: CRACK, violence, some innuendo
Disclaimer: Not mine

( On Omelettes )