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Little dialogue-fic, from a crazed and hyper brain. Crack!
Title: Tank
Rating: PG
Fandom: Sanctuary
Characters/Pairings: Helen, James, Nigel
Summary: Why are they in a tank? And where did they get it?
Wordcount: 308
Warnings/Notes: SPOILERS for 3x17 Normandy. Crack!
Disclaimer: Not mine
Title: Tank
Rating: PG
Fandom: Sanctuary
Characters/Pairings: Helen, James, Nigel
Summary: Why are they in a tank? And where did they get it?
Wordcount: 308
Warnings/Notes: SPOILERS for 3x17 Normandy. Crack!
Disclaimer: Not mine
Tank
James: "Helen, no."
Helen: "Oh, come on, James! We'll never get past their checkpoints as we are. The three of us alone are all too easy to overpower. At least this way, they'll be reluctant to challenge us, and we'll be in a much better position to do some damage should things turn sour."
Nigel: "... She's got a point, mate. Ain't nobody much going to argue with us in that."
James: "Yes, thank you, Nigel. Helen, we are not stealing a tank!
Helen: "James."
James: "Helen."
Nigel: "Shall I wait outside, then? So you two can argue it out?"
Helen & James: "Nigel."
Nigel: "Alright, alright. I'd just like to point out, though. Been through this spying lark the first time around, haven't I? And I'm pretty sure, when the going gets tough, a body can always use a tank."
Helen: *looks smug*
James: "... Fine."
Helen: "Oh, suck it up, Jimmy. It's only a tank, after all."
James: *drily* "Yes. And that time in Romania was only a dragon."
Helen: *gleefully* "I'm driving! James, you stand up top and look imposing. Nigel, you can walk escort, we might meet something ..."
James: *not expecting to be listened to* "We haven't even gotten it yet ..."
Nigel: "Right. Stick me out in the bloody cold, why don't you? But if you're driving, and he's up top, and I'm out here ... who's firing the bloody gun?"
Helen: *unholy smile* "You leave that to me."
Nigel & James: *glance at each other worriedly*
James: "It's your fault, you know. You encouraged her. On your head be it."
Nigel: "So long as it's not literally on my head ..."
Helen: "Oh, do be quiet. What on earth have you got to worry about?"
Nigel & James: *decline to comment*
Helen: *rubs hands* "Alright, boys. Lets go steal a tank!"
James: "Oh, joy."
Nigel: "Cheer up, mate. Could be worse." *grins into James' fish-eye* "Could be raining."
James: "I think you should know. I hate you both."
James: "Helen, no."
Helen: "Oh, come on, James! We'll never get past their checkpoints as we are. The three of us alone are all too easy to overpower. At least this way, they'll be reluctant to challenge us, and we'll be in a much better position to do some damage should things turn sour."
Nigel: "... She's got a point, mate. Ain't nobody much going to argue with us in that."
James: "Yes, thank you, Nigel. Helen, we are not stealing a tank!
Helen: "James."
James: "Helen."
Nigel: "Shall I wait outside, then? So you two can argue it out?"
Helen & James: "Nigel."
Nigel: "Alright, alright. I'd just like to point out, though. Been through this spying lark the first time around, haven't I? And I'm pretty sure, when the going gets tough, a body can always use a tank."
Helen: *looks smug*
James: "... Fine."
Helen: "Oh, suck it up, Jimmy. It's only a tank, after all."
James: *drily* "Yes. And that time in Romania was only a dragon."
Helen: *gleefully* "I'm driving! James, you stand up top and look imposing. Nigel, you can walk escort, we might meet something ..."
James: *not expecting to be listened to* "We haven't even gotten it yet ..."
Nigel: "Right. Stick me out in the bloody cold, why don't you? But if you're driving, and he's up top, and I'm out here ... who's firing the bloody gun?"
Helen: *unholy smile* "You leave that to me."
Nigel & James: *glance at each other worriedly*
James: "It's your fault, you know. You encouraged her. On your head be it."
Nigel: "So long as it's not literally on my head ..."
Helen: "Oh, do be quiet. What on earth have you got to worry about?"
Nigel & James: *decline to comment*
Helen: *rubs hands* "Alright, boys. Lets go steal a tank!"
James: "Oh, joy."
Nigel: "Cheer up, mate. Could be worse." *grins into James' fish-eye* "Could be raining."
James: "I think you should know. I hate you both."
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