5 DC AUs I'm NOT going to write - Part 1

[icarus_chained]

Got no time to write them all at once. Just little snippets of things that I've played with.

Part The First - In Which They Are Extraordinary Gentlemen (and Woman)
Characters: Bruce Wayne, J'onn Jones, Alfred Pennyworth, Jason Blood, Selina Kyle, Richard Grayson

There is no sight quite so amusing (or frightening, depending on which end of it you happened to be on) than that of the most dignified man in the world storming down a subterranean corridor and opening a door in such a way as to convey the impression of having slammed it without in actual fact doing anything so crass or hard on the furniture. At least, that was her opinion, and Selina was a woman well used to people respecting her opinions. Whether they wanted to or not.

"Master Blood!" Alfred snarled frostily, waving sulfurous fumes to one side. "If you have released that demon in this house, I promise you ..."

He tapered off, taking in the sweating, shirtless form of the magician on one side of the room, hand raised to disguise the smile on flushed, urbane features, and on other side, a dark-haired man in shirtsleeves and leather apron, holding a beaker containing yellow crystals and looking decidedly sheepish. Selina, lounging in the doorway of the underground lab, smirked cheerfully in his direction.

"Ah," Alfred noted, and bowed slightly in Jason's direction. "My apologies, Master Blood. I see I was hasty in my choice of suspect. Do forgive me." He paused in the graceful apology to glare heartily at Bruce.

The magician laughed at that, waving a hand in negation. "All is forgiven, my friend. For that look on Bruce's face, I would forgive far more!"

"Yes, yes, I'll be more careful with the chemicals next time," Bruce responded testily. "Alfred, are you here to berate me or did you actually have a purpose."

The older man raised a frosty eyebrow at that, and Selina laughed out loud. Shaking her head as they turned to look at her, she moved languorously to Alfred's side and smiled. "Now, boys," she purred. "Do play nice, won't you? Alfie will get to it in due time." And as Bruce and Jason tried not to choke, Alfred turned to her, all affronted dignity and sparkling eyes.

"Alfie?" he murmured pointedly, and she smiled.

"A man with your ... exceptional background ... can hardly stand on ceremony," she smirked.

"Says the thief," he countered mildly.

"Indeed," she answered, bright and clear. "And the demonic magician. And the vigilante scientist over there. And the invisible shapeshifter with the gift of thought transference. And the acrobat with more than twenty hostile infiltrations under his belt. Not to mention yourself, spy, medic ... shall I go on, darling?" And her smile was rich and full of humour.

"Indeed not." He waved a hand in surrender. "You've quite made your point. And rather brought me to mine." He turned back to the others. "Master Bruce, Master Blood. The Sea King has contacted Master J'onn. He has requested a meeting with the League, I believe to discuss recent invasions of his territories by a foreign power. He has sent the submersible to the lower dock, should we decide to accept?"

Bruce was already on his feet, stripping the apron to Selina's (and indeed Blood's) appreciative gaze. "Dick? J'onn?" ha asked rapidly, moving to collect his gear.

"They concur with myself and Miss Kyle on the wisdom of ignoring the Sea King, and have already made their way to the dock," Alfred informed him, with the slightest twitch of the lips that might have been a smile. But he certainly had a point. Exceptional they may have been, some might even say extraordinary, but it was an unwise man who thought to cross the undisputed ruler of two thirds of the planet.

Bruce paused for a moment to look at him wryly, before shaking his head and turning to Blood. "Coming, Jason?" he asked, lightly, and Selina's own gaze turned to the magician. Blood smiled enigmatically, the white streak in his rich red hair glowing a little in the firelight, and unfolded himself from his seat with a graceful heave, gesturing to summon his cloak to him. No shirt, though, Selina noted.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," he smiled.