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Bruce & Clark (DC comics)
Lex & Clark (DC comics)
Avon & Blake (Blake's 7)
Raffles & Bunny (Raffles the Amateur Cracksman)
Holmes & Watson (Sherlock Holmes)
These are all characters I've been reading/watching lately, and I've been noticing a kind of ... theme ... I think, in their interactions. More than just them, of course. There are lots of characters that fall into the same pattern. Not all of them are male, either, though I notice it does seem to be slightly more common among men, at least in fiction.
Each of these pairs of characters contains two strong people, but people with two very different kinds of strength. Each pair contains one large-hearted idealist, and one prideful cynic. Each has one who wears his heart on his sleeve, and one who would sooner lose a limb than show it. Each contains one skilled at manipulation, and one who tries their hardest to deal with people as honestly as possible. Each contains, in other words, a pair of opposites in terms of how they see people and deal with emotions. And in each, both members hold a deep level of importance to each other.
It's usually the more open character, lets call them the Yang, who makes the opening overtures of friendship, usually after a somewhat ... turbulent meeting. Understatement of the year in a couple of cases, I know. The other, the Yin, usually does not come around to the idea very readily. Sometimes not at all, though both try very hard for a long time. And usually, throughout the relationship, though it may get to the point where both are devoted nearly to the point of madness, where both are willing to live and die for the other, there is still some strain from that turbulent meeting. And the reasons seem to be very, very similar.
The Yin takes a great portion of their strength from pride, in themselves, in their ability to stand up to the pain that comes for them. They consequently take that pride very, very seriously. And in most cases, the fact that the Yang does not need that pride to be strong rankles, to varying degrees. There is a sense that the partnership, for the Yin, highlights some inner weakness in themselves, some lack of resilience in comparison to the Yang. And that, for beings so prideful and so dependant on pride, is a very dangerous strain. The confidence and trust of the Yang makes the Yin feel weak, unworthy.
And then, there is the worse crime, in the eyes of the Yin. The crime that in a couple of the above relationships caused the failure of the entire relationship, at least to my eyes.
The Yang knows about this percieved weakness in the Yin, though they may firmly believe and say that it is not a weakness at all. And the Yin knows that they know, and can't bear it. Because the Yin, for some reason or another, almost inevitably takes the Yang's acceptance of this weakness as pity, even if in most cases it's actually something closer to compassion. And there is nothing more hurtful to a spirit born of pride than the thought of another's pity.
In almost all cases, this is the last thing the Yang wants. In most, they don't even fully realise what's happened (Goku, definitely Bunny - Watson and Clark, I think, are aware to a great degree, they just don't know how to fix it). There are exceptions, of course, where the Yang both knows and uses that pity/trust as a weapon, and Blake, I am looking at you. But then I always did think that one was a particularly unhealthy relationship.
In many ways, this sets the Yin up to determine the path of the relationship. The Yang is usually only acting purely as themselves, without particular thought or agenda. The Yin, on the other hand, is usually too introspective and sensitive to manipulation to allow things to go undirected.
Sometimes, the results are decidedly antagonistic. Goku and Vegeta. Lex and Clark. Avon and Blake, to the absolute nth degree. It seems to be a particular case when both characters are what could be called alpha characters, both exceptionally strong and determined in their own right. In those cases, the sin of pity is too great to be forgiven, though at the same time the bond between the characters is too great to sever.
Even an unrepentantly antagonistic relationship can still go more than one way, however. Sometimes they become very obsessive enemies (Lex and Clark). Others, the relationship becomes more complicated. In some cases, though it will always stand between them to a degree, and will flare up into a kind of war every so often, by the later stages of the relationship the characters have largely reconciled themselves to the dynamic (Vegeta and Goku). And then, sometimes, it blows up spectacularly in their faces (Avon. Blake. You poor idiots).
Other times, the relationship is only one-sidely antagonistic. Almost abusive on the part of the Yin, though I use that term warily. Relationships like that of Holmes & Watson, and Raffles & Bunny. In those cases, the Yin, upset and afraid by the Yang's ability to make them feel weak, constantly lashes out against the most often bewildered Yang. From there, it depends on the reaction of the Yang. In Raffles' case, Bunny broke, and Raffles broke in turn to try and fix it, enough to let him in. In Holmes', Watson gave a gentle, immovable what-for until Holmes saw sense and lessened his manipulations of Watson (Baskerville, Reichenbach, the Dying Detective - for heaven's sake man!), and they settled down into the legendary friendship.
Then there are relationships like Bruce and Clark, which after a very rocky start became mutually supportive. And this, I think, is because the Yin in these relationships has a higher sense of self-worth, at least as far as relationships go. Bruce, for all his insecurities, is not as completely broken as some of the others I've mentioned. Raffles, Holmes, Vegeta, Avon ... none of them believe in friendship over-much to start with, and less still in their own worthiness to call anyone a friend, let alone someone so strong and good as they believe the Yang to be. (Lex would be the exception, in that he believes very firmly in his own worth, but not in the Yang's, which makes Clark's pity for him only harder to bear. How dare someone so weak pity him!) Bruce, on the other hand, once he recognises the pity for compassion and genuine friendship, seems to take strength from it, not against it, and allows the relationship to strengthen them both.
That is, when he's not being an idiot.
It's an incredibly fascinating relationship, this balance between weakness and strength, between pride and the perception of pity, between Yin and Yang. There are many more I can think of, and each presents a different variant, a different reaction on the theme. Phileas Fogg and Jules Verne, from the Secret Adventures of Jules Verne. Javert and Valjean, from Les Miserables. And more that I can't think of, but all of you probably could.
*grins* If I felt so inclined, I could probably write you an essay on all of them. Maybe compare and contrast them to each other, see how each turned out differently and why. Certainly I'll be doing it in my own head. And then thinking about different types of relationships altogether. Yang/Yang relationships. Yin/Yin. More besides. It is rather fun.
What do you think? Agree, disagree? Have I offended in my characterisation of the pairs? Any other pairs you think fit the dynamic? And other variations on it, other ways it could go? That you've seen it go? *smiles* I'm insomniac, and wanted to spread the sleepless musing.
From:
no subject
As it is, I'm going to cheer for the Avon and Blake reference, and suggest trying to tag Katarik or Yena on the DBZ one.
Also, side note: Richard WILL catch up on Musing Way, and others, as soon as I'm not on at work. Probably Friday sometime.
From:
no subject
*nods* I have a complicated relationship with the Avon/Blake dynamic. It makes me both incredibly angry, and incredibly sad, and someone should have bloody hit Blake, over the head, repeatedly, with a very big hammer.
*grin* No worries. My weekend, your week ... life's complicated at the minute, yes? Don't worry about it.
From:
no subject
It's all so true.
Vegeta and Holmes and Lex definitely.
I'd disagree that Bruce isn't as broken, he's just broken differently. But the ways he's broken differently mean that he does do better with the Yang to his Yin, at least a little. Most of the time.
At the moment, I can't much think of examples, but I'll wander back any time I can.
From:
no subject
Bruce ... I still think compared to all of them, he trusts more easily and more fully. When he's not being an idiot, like I said, which admittedly isn't very often. Heh. Maybe 'less broken' is a bad way of putting it. Though in all fairness, if Bruce has a healthier approach to friendship than you, you're pretty damn broken.
Wander back whenever!