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I'm half-asleep and rather frazzled right now. Which, naturally, is when stupid ideas pop up. Heh.
What are the chances of somebody writing me a Hobbit/Discworld fanfic in which the meeting in Bag End is hijacked by the Nac Mac Feegle?
Because, see, that would be awesome. There'd be the Feegles and Nori (who, obviously, is really just a Feegle who was stolen and raised by dwarves and for some reason grew freakishly large), the Feegles and Dori (who, despite being male, is obviously a kelda), the Feegles and Dwalin (who would have the most glorious punch-up in Bilbo's front yard, possibly aided by Bifur and Bofur, and then have the slightly bizarre experience of being yelled at by a hobbit who is smaller than three of them, and outnumbered by the rest of them, but is shockingly scary despite that), the Feegles and Thorin ("Nae King! Nae Quin! Nae Laird!" "Well, I'm not your king!" "... Right then. So. Tell us more about this wee beastie ye be meanin' to kill?". Also, give Thorin one chance to mutter something deprecating about elves, and before you know it he's accidentally-on-purpose set a Feegle Clan on Thranduil, and feels no remorse whatsoever about it), the Feegles and Balin and Ori (gonnagle and gonnagle-in-training, respectively, possibly with input from Bilbo, who's the Hobbits' gonnagle), the Feegles and Gandalf (who really, by Discworld standards, is more witch than wizard, and perfectly capable of doing the Pursin' o' the Lips and the Tappin' o' the Foot), the Feegles and Fili & Kili (who compare notes on their respective keldas, Dis obviously being a proper kelda, right enough, even if she did let her Big Man wander off to fight a dragon on his own), the Feegles and Bilbo (who grabs the Big Man, gives him a stern talking to about Things You Are Not Allowed To Steal Or I'll Set Gandalf Or Dori On You, and afterwards get along perfectly well) ... All of it ending, naturally enough, when Gandalf and Bilbo let slip the existence of pipeweed, and manage to get five dozen tiny blue men stoned out of their trees in Bilbo's front parlour, while thirteen dwarves wonder what the fuck just happened and what the hell kind of things these Shire folk normally get up to.
... Um. In my defense, it's been a long few days, and I've possibly been thinking way too much about this. *grins sheepishly* Oi. Okay. I'm going to go sleep now, yes? Heh.
What are the chances of somebody writing me a Hobbit/Discworld fanfic in which the meeting in Bag End is hijacked by the Nac Mac Feegle?
Because, see, that would be awesome. There'd be the Feegles and Nori (who, obviously, is really just a Feegle who was stolen and raised by dwarves and for some reason grew freakishly large), the Feegles and Dori (who, despite being male, is obviously a kelda), the Feegles and Dwalin (who would have the most glorious punch-up in Bilbo's front yard, possibly aided by Bifur and Bofur, and then have the slightly bizarre experience of being yelled at by a hobbit who is smaller than three of them, and outnumbered by the rest of them, but is shockingly scary despite that), the Feegles and Thorin ("Nae King! Nae Quin! Nae Laird!" "Well, I'm not your king!" "... Right then. So. Tell us more about this wee beastie ye be meanin' to kill?". Also, give Thorin one chance to mutter something deprecating about elves, and before you know it he's accidentally-on-purpose set a Feegle Clan on Thranduil, and feels no remorse whatsoever about it), the Feegles and Balin and Ori (gonnagle and gonnagle-in-training, respectively, possibly with input from Bilbo, who's the Hobbits' gonnagle), the Feegles and Gandalf (who really, by Discworld standards, is more witch than wizard, and perfectly capable of doing the Pursin' o' the Lips and the Tappin' o' the Foot), the Feegles and Fili & Kili (who compare notes on their respective keldas, Dis obviously being a proper kelda, right enough, even if she did let her Big Man wander off to fight a dragon on his own), the Feegles and Bilbo (who grabs the Big Man, gives him a stern talking to about Things You Are Not Allowed To Steal Or I'll Set Gandalf Or Dori On You, and afterwards get along perfectly well) ... All of it ending, naturally enough, when Gandalf and Bilbo let slip the existence of pipeweed, and manage to get five dozen tiny blue men stoned out of their trees in Bilbo's front parlour, while thirteen dwarves wonder what the fuck just happened and what the hell kind of things these Shire folk normally get up to.
... Um. In my defense, it's been a long few days, and I've possibly been thinking way too much about this. *grins sheepishly* Oi. Okay. I'm going to go sleep now, yes? Heh.
