![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Shit. Shit. Shit. Why do these things always catch me by surprise? Why does it catch me by surprise when I KNOW there are some things and some times when I'm not ... when I can't ...
There's a panicky thing clawing up my chest, and the loop in my head ... And I should have expected it, I should have ... I have to go back to college next week, and I should have felt the build to a crash, and there are a couple other triggers hitting, and I should have fucking seen it coming but I never do. Shit. Shit. Damn. I can't do this. I don't want to do this. I don't want to spend the night scared of the things in my head. Go away, go away, go AWAY! I can't do this, go away.
Someone, someone, please. Distract me. Don't care. Ask me a question, ask me for a meme, something. Something. Oh, what am I doing? Never mind. SHit. Shit. No nonono.
Damn. No, nevermind. I don't know. Why the hell didn't I see this coming?
ETA: Gotta go collapse for the night. Thank you. Thank you so much for getting me down enough. *wobbly smile* Thank you.
There's a panicky thing clawing up my chest, and the loop in my head ... And I should have expected it, I should have ... I have to go back to college next week, and I should have felt the build to a crash, and there are a couple other triggers hitting, and I should have fucking seen it coming but I never do. Shit. Shit. Damn. I can't do this. I don't want to do this. I don't want to spend the night scared of the things in my head. Go away, go away, go AWAY! I can't do this, go away.
Someone, someone, please. Distract me. Don't care. Ask me a question, ask me for a meme, something. Something. Oh, what am I doing? Never mind. SHit. Shit. No nonono.
Damn. No, nevermind. I don't know. Why the hell didn't I see this coming?
ETA: Gotta go collapse for the night. Thank you. Thank you so much for getting me down enough. *wobbly smile* Thank you.
Tags: