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Something coming out of discussions I've been having lately, both academic and personal. The exercising of power through surveillance and the creation of standards, and why it scares the crap out of me sometimes. Quite personal, in viewpoint, I will warn you:
Surveillance, Norms, and Vulnerability
Okay, I should probably give some context for this one. If only because I've no idea how to start otherwise. It's all a bit ... nebulous still.
One of the threads in one of my modules has been the power and ability of a system to impose norms over those within it. In the module itself, this is looked at in terms of spaces, such as factories, prisons, cities themselves. How they impose order within themselves through the use of certain methods, such as surveillance, and the creation of norms so that people within them will regulate themselves.
There were other methods discussed, but those two have a particular resonance for me. Or rather, I should say, I have to particular sensitivity to them. Allow me to explain?
I have Aspergers Syndrome. It's largely masked academically by my facility with language (or was, until a linked combination of depression and severe anxiety pushed me into a crash), but socially it's rather glaringly apparent. I thought it wasn't, for a long time, thought I had some reasonably effective masks, but apparently not. *shrugs sheepishly*
One of the major upshots of this is that I have no idea, literally none, of what people around me may be thinking or feeling at any one time. I ... find it difficult to express the magnitude of this, since people keep telling me that nobody has telepathy, so what's the problem? But ... I think it might be like being surrounded by faceless people. Or by invisible people, forces that only make themselves apparent by their actions, by their force on my person.
There is no ... there's no sensation of cause-and-effect, no idea where things may be coming from, no idea why things happen. There's no way to see ahead of time what a person is going to do. And yes, I know normal people don't have precognition either, but at least there's an idea that 'such and such a thing made so and so angry earlier, they're likely to yell at me now, because they're in a pissy mood'. I don't have that. If someone is yelling at me, I have to assume it's because of something I did now. I don't have the ... the facility to link emotions to events, and extrapolate out the effects on that person for the rest of the day/week/month/life. I can't see emotions, beyond that most blatantly obvious, and only very rarely, and usually after the fact, can I extrapolate cause.
This gives me a very ... peculiar ... perspective on the idea of surveillance. In a large part because it feels like walking around surrounded by one-way glass. Everyone can see in, I can't see out. It gives an unnerving impression of being constantly watched, simply because I know I can't see certain things, and other people can. And while, logically, I know most people probably don't care enough to do the actual watching, some do. And those people can see me, where I can't see them. It creates ... an acute sensation of vulnerability.
In this, I don't think I'm alone. I'm not simply talking about people with Aspergers. I have an idea that most people, being very aware of their own vulnerabilities, often assume and fear that other people will become aware of them too. The more ... drastic and embedded the vulnerability, the greater the fear of surveillance, the greater the fear that someone will not just see, but exploit. In my case, this is exaccerbated by my complete inability to properly hide my social problems, because I don't understand the mechanisms by which other people see and judge them, but I assume any vulnerability feels like that.
The act of watching is a stunning act of power, in other words. For everyone and against everyone, I think. I just happen to particularly sensitive to it because of the way I am, but I think most people feel it in some way. The idea that you are being watched, that you are in public, that you being remotely evaluated based on how you present to the world ... that, I think, has a very, very powerful effect on people. Because the idea becomes, if you are being watched, if you are being judged, what happens if you fail that judgement?
This is where the idea of the system (by which I mean anything from the workplace to society at large) imposing norms comes in. As an act of power, it has few equals, I think. Because the society sets the standards on which that remote judgement happens, society sets out the ways in which you may fail or pass the judgement behind the watching ... and society sets out the prices of that failing. And in doing so, it creates and/or exaccerbates a series of vulnerabilities, a series of fears. Very, very powerful, very pervasive fears.
Because the price is often violence. The price of having your vulnerability exposed is so often violence. Not necessarily physical. There are many types of violence. Verbal, financial. Ostracisation, invisibility. And yes, sometimes, depending on the vulnerability revealed, sometimes physical. Sometimes fatal. The price for revealing that you do not match this norm, this standard for judgement, is to be made vulnerable because of it.
And it's amazing how that, how the imposition of a norm and the fear of being outside it, the fear of the watching and what it will reveal, can induce people to commit violence against themselves. Can induce them to damage themselves, in an effort to hide the flaw that marks them as different. It's part of why I find this expression of power to be so incredible and so frightening. Because it doesn't actually need outside violence to perpetuate itself. The fear it causes is violence enough in and of itself. It's self-perpetuating, self-regulating, and requires very, very little effort to maintain, and a LOT of effort to change. I find it ... impressive, and to a great degree terrible.
Again, my sensitivity to this is coming from a highly personal place, because it has become apparent over the past couple of years that I have internalised a huge amount of fear because of this, and done considerable damage to myself mentally in a flawed attempt to compensate for my ... well, disability. But I have heard of the same thing happening with other problems, with other people outside the social norm at the very least cutting out whole portions of their lives and doing damage to their sense of self in effort to hide it.
In some ways, this is complicated by the fact that the 'norms' don't actually exist. As in, there are very few people who would fit them perfectly, though this does depend on the norm, and the society it comes from. It does seem that everyone is just slightly outside it at least, and thus everyone carries some degree of vulnerability to it. Which ... is very probably why it's so powerful, why it's so useful as a system of control.
And again, there is also the fact that the social construction of norms is necessary, at least to some extent, in that it creates a way to regulate a populace without overt use of violence against them. This would be a strong thread of discussion in the modules this is coming out of, and I understand the point. As a system of governance, the creation of a society that regulates itself is ... a very utopian ideal, in some ways. Do a little harm to all, to prevent great harm being done to a few or most. I get that. The problem arises in the nature of the societies trying it, their values that they are attempting to establish as 'norms', and how much of their population lies outside of those ideal values.
I understand the value of the system. I'm just ... as someone rather resolutely outside many of the norms of my own society, and made ... very vulnerable because of it ... I have issues with it, is all. Or, more bluntly, I find it frigging terrifying. In my case the fear is somewhat exaccerbated by my inability to understand either the criteria or mechanism by which most people do the judging, which, again, gives me the unnerving impression of being completely vulnerable on all sides, but ... It does strike as something that should at least be worrying, for most people. An expression of power that at the very least should be respected for its sheer efficiency, and watched for the potential for abuse.
Because that potential, given the amount of power involved, is very, very great. An act of violence, commited in the pursuit of an ideal, is still an act of violence. And under current standards in many societies, the norms in place, there are a worrying number of people made vulnerable to that violence.
*screws mouth, shrugs* As I said. I have a particular sensitivity to this issue, and its discussion. Forgive the sermon, yes?
*shuts up*
Okay, I should probably give some context for this one. If only because I've no idea how to start otherwise. It's all a bit ... nebulous still.
One of the threads in one of my modules has been the power and ability of a system to impose norms over those within it. In the module itself, this is looked at in terms of spaces, such as factories, prisons, cities themselves. How they impose order within themselves through the use of certain methods, such as surveillance, and the creation of norms so that people within them will regulate themselves.
There were other methods discussed, but those two have a particular resonance for me. Or rather, I should say, I have to particular sensitivity to them. Allow me to explain?
I have Aspergers Syndrome. It's largely masked academically by my facility with language (or was, until a linked combination of depression and severe anxiety pushed me into a crash), but socially it's rather glaringly apparent. I thought it wasn't, for a long time, thought I had some reasonably effective masks, but apparently not. *shrugs sheepishly*
One of the major upshots of this is that I have no idea, literally none, of what people around me may be thinking or feeling at any one time. I ... find it difficult to express the magnitude of this, since people keep telling me that nobody has telepathy, so what's the problem? But ... I think it might be like being surrounded by faceless people. Or by invisible people, forces that only make themselves apparent by their actions, by their force on my person.
There is no ... there's no sensation of cause-and-effect, no idea where things may be coming from, no idea why things happen. There's no way to see ahead of time what a person is going to do. And yes, I know normal people don't have precognition either, but at least there's an idea that 'such and such a thing made so and so angry earlier, they're likely to yell at me now, because they're in a pissy mood'. I don't have that. If someone is yelling at me, I have to assume it's because of something I did now. I don't have the ... the facility to link emotions to events, and extrapolate out the effects on that person for the rest of the day/week/month/life. I can't see emotions, beyond that most blatantly obvious, and only very rarely, and usually after the fact, can I extrapolate cause.
This gives me a very ... peculiar ... perspective on the idea of surveillance. In a large part because it feels like walking around surrounded by one-way glass. Everyone can see in, I can't see out. It gives an unnerving impression of being constantly watched, simply because I know I can't see certain things, and other people can. And while, logically, I know most people probably don't care enough to do the actual watching, some do. And those people can see me, where I can't see them. It creates ... an acute sensation of vulnerability.
In this, I don't think I'm alone. I'm not simply talking about people with Aspergers. I have an idea that most people, being very aware of their own vulnerabilities, often assume and fear that other people will become aware of them too. The more ... drastic and embedded the vulnerability, the greater the fear of surveillance, the greater the fear that someone will not just see, but exploit. In my case, this is exaccerbated by my complete inability to properly hide my social problems, because I don't understand the mechanisms by which other people see and judge them, but I assume any vulnerability feels like that.
The act of watching is a stunning act of power, in other words. For everyone and against everyone, I think. I just happen to particularly sensitive to it because of the way I am, but I think most people feel it in some way. The idea that you are being watched, that you are in public, that you being remotely evaluated based on how you present to the world ... that, I think, has a very, very powerful effect on people. Because the idea becomes, if you are being watched, if you are being judged, what happens if you fail that judgement?
This is where the idea of the system (by which I mean anything from the workplace to society at large) imposing norms comes in. As an act of power, it has few equals, I think. Because the society sets the standards on which that remote judgement happens, society sets out the ways in which you may fail or pass the judgement behind the watching ... and society sets out the prices of that failing. And in doing so, it creates and/or exaccerbates a series of vulnerabilities, a series of fears. Very, very powerful, very pervasive fears.
Because the price is often violence. The price of having your vulnerability exposed is so often violence. Not necessarily physical. There are many types of violence. Verbal, financial. Ostracisation, invisibility. And yes, sometimes, depending on the vulnerability revealed, sometimes physical. Sometimes fatal. The price for revealing that you do not match this norm, this standard for judgement, is to be made vulnerable because of it.
And it's amazing how that, how the imposition of a norm and the fear of being outside it, the fear of the watching and what it will reveal, can induce people to commit violence against themselves. Can induce them to damage themselves, in an effort to hide the flaw that marks them as different. It's part of why I find this expression of power to be so incredible and so frightening. Because it doesn't actually need outside violence to perpetuate itself. The fear it causes is violence enough in and of itself. It's self-perpetuating, self-regulating, and requires very, very little effort to maintain, and a LOT of effort to change. I find it ... impressive, and to a great degree terrible.
Again, my sensitivity to this is coming from a highly personal place, because it has become apparent over the past couple of years that I have internalised a huge amount of fear because of this, and done considerable damage to myself mentally in a flawed attempt to compensate for my ... well, disability. But I have heard of the same thing happening with other problems, with other people outside the social norm at the very least cutting out whole portions of their lives and doing damage to their sense of self in effort to hide it.
In some ways, this is complicated by the fact that the 'norms' don't actually exist. As in, there are very few people who would fit them perfectly, though this does depend on the norm, and the society it comes from. It does seem that everyone is just slightly outside it at least, and thus everyone carries some degree of vulnerability to it. Which ... is very probably why it's so powerful, why it's so useful as a system of control.
And again, there is also the fact that the social construction of norms is necessary, at least to some extent, in that it creates a way to regulate a populace without overt use of violence against them. This would be a strong thread of discussion in the modules this is coming out of, and I understand the point. As a system of governance, the creation of a society that regulates itself is ... a very utopian ideal, in some ways. Do a little harm to all, to prevent great harm being done to a few or most. I get that. The problem arises in the nature of the societies trying it, their values that they are attempting to establish as 'norms', and how much of their population lies outside of those ideal values.
I understand the value of the system. I'm just ... as someone rather resolutely outside many of the norms of my own society, and made ... very vulnerable because of it ... I have issues with it, is all. Or, more bluntly, I find it frigging terrifying. In my case the fear is somewhat exaccerbated by my inability to understand either the criteria or mechanism by which most people do the judging, which, again, gives me the unnerving impression of being completely vulnerable on all sides, but ... It does strike as something that should at least be worrying, for most people. An expression of power that at the very least should be respected for its sheer efficiency, and watched for the potential for abuse.
Because that potential, given the amount of power involved, is very, very great. An act of violence, commited in the pursuit of an ideal, is still an act of violence. And under current standards in many societies, the norms in place, there are a worrying number of people made vulnerable to that violence.
*screws mouth, shrugs* As I said. I have a particular sensitivity to this issue, and its discussion. Forgive the sermon, yes?
*shuts up*
