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Okay. I have ... a complicated relationship with non-con in fics. I have ... something of a tolerance for it, it's not a major trigger for me, unless ... Um. Unless a specific thing happens, which thankfully doesn't happen in a lot of fics, it's ... I mean, it would probably be weird, if it didn't drop me right into somewhere I don't want to revisit, but ...
Anyway. I have a tolerance for non-con in fics, provided everything is good and warned for. Sometimes fics with non-con in them are good. Sometimes they take the time to work through this in a way that feels real, sometimes they have a really satisfying ending. Sometimes they're worth the risk, you know?
And then, sometimes ...
I was warned. Non-con, plain as day. I was warned, and I went in, and it ...
Okay. There's non-con fics that end up involving lots of h/c and a reasonably happy ending, and that's fine. There's non-con fics that are dark and horrible and hopeless, and that's harder, but I can deal with that. Mostly.
Then there are non-con fics where the rapist gets away with a slap on the wrist at best, and the victim ends the fic cuddled in the rapist's arms feeling loved for the first time, and everyone around the rapist thinks it's justified because look, he's happier now than he was before, that makes it okay, right? And I just ... I just ...
And there was ... I have a horror, a real ... Things that remove free will, things like drugs and brainwashing, things that take away who a person is ... and there are people in fic going, if it makes the person happier, then surely it's okay, and I can't, I can't ... Breaking down walls by force, changing the way a person lives their life and interacts with others by force, changing who they are by force, and I don't give a flying fuck if they're beaming like they're on Prozac by the end of it, you cannot, you can not ...
And it's not the writer's fault. They warned, they warned plain as day for non-con at the start of it, and I went in anyway, but I wasn't expecting ... I kept going, all the way through, feeling sicker and sicker, waiting for someone to point out that this is not justified, that this is sick, don't you see what you're doing ... wanting to scream at characters, waiting for it to be pointed out, and ... And in the end, the victim is curled happily in the rapist's arms, everybody all happy and feeling loved, and the person who set it up is cheerfully heading off for a few days in a cell thinking it's a job well done, and I can't ...
Dark-fic, I can deal. Non-con, to a degree, I can deal. But ... I need it to end in justice at least, if not some semblance of happiness, I need it to end where people understand that this thing that was done was wrong, was so terrible I ...
I need there to be a warning for an unhappy end. I need there to be an understanding that sometimes, just because the victim ends the fic smiling does not make it a happy ending. I need there NOT to be this feeling at the end of the fic that, yes, this person was taken and forced and locked away and chemically rewritten into someone other than they were, but they're happier for it in the end, so that's okay.
Gah! I know, I know. The non-con was warned for. I shouldn't complain. I've no right to complain. I was warned. I'm having a reaction, and it's not the writer's fault, because they did warn me, and all through the fic I was at least certain that the writer knew what was right and what was so very, very wrong, it's just that the characters themselves never did. I took a risk, and it backfired, and that's no-one's fault but mine.
I just ... I just ... *flaps frantically*
I just shouldn't read non-con for a while, I think. *grimaces queasily* I just ... shouldn't.
Anyway. I have a tolerance for non-con in fics, provided everything is good and warned for. Sometimes fics with non-con in them are good. Sometimes they take the time to work through this in a way that feels real, sometimes they have a really satisfying ending. Sometimes they're worth the risk, you know?
And then, sometimes ...
I was warned. Non-con, plain as day. I was warned, and I went in, and it ...
Okay. There's non-con fics that end up involving lots of h/c and a reasonably happy ending, and that's fine. There's non-con fics that are dark and horrible and hopeless, and that's harder, but I can deal with that. Mostly.
Then there are non-con fics where the rapist gets away with a slap on the wrist at best, and the victim ends the fic cuddled in the rapist's arms feeling loved for the first time, and everyone around the rapist thinks it's justified because look, he's happier now than he was before, that makes it okay, right? And I just ... I just ...
And there was ... I have a horror, a real ... Things that remove free will, things like drugs and brainwashing, things that take away who a person is ... and there are people in fic going, if it makes the person happier, then surely it's okay, and I can't, I can't ... Breaking down walls by force, changing the way a person lives their life and interacts with others by force, changing who they are by force, and I don't give a flying fuck if they're beaming like they're on Prozac by the end of it, you cannot, you can not ...
And it's not the writer's fault. They warned, they warned plain as day for non-con at the start of it, and I went in anyway, but I wasn't expecting ... I kept going, all the way through, feeling sicker and sicker, waiting for someone to point out that this is not justified, that this is sick, don't you see what you're doing ... wanting to scream at characters, waiting for it to be pointed out, and ... And in the end, the victim is curled happily in the rapist's arms, everybody all happy and feeling loved, and the person who set it up is cheerfully heading off for a few days in a cell thinking it's a job well done, and I can't ...
Dark-fic, I can deal. Non-con, to a degree, I can deal. But ... I need it to end in justice at least, if not some semblance of happiness, I need it to end where people understand that this thing that was done was wrong, was so terrible I ...
I need there to be a warning for an unhappy end. I need there to be an understanding that sometimes, just because the victim ends the fic smiling does not make it a happy ending. I need there NOT to be this feeling at the end of the fic that, yes, this person was taken and forced and locked away and chemically rewritten into someone other than they were, but they're happier for it in the end, so that's okay.
Gah! I know, I know. The non-con was warned for. I shouldn't complain. I've no right to complain. I was warned. I'm having a reaction, and it's not the writer's fault, because they did warn me, and all through the fic I was at least certain that the writer knew what was right and what was so very, very wrong, it's just that the characters themselves never did. I took a risk, and it backfired, and that's no-one's fault but mine.
I just ... I just ... *flaps frantically*
I just shouldn't read non-con for a while, I think. *grimaces queasily* I just ... shouldn't.
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