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Of the turning-characters-into-animals variety. I apologise in advance, for this one. I don't know what came over me -_-;
Title: Craseonycteris Thonglongyai
Rating: PG
Fandom: Sanctuary
Characters/Pairings: Will, Kate, Henry, Nikola, John
Summary: Pretty much just an excuse to turn Nikola into the world's smallest bat
Wordcount: 678
Warnings/Notes: Utter crack. The title is from the scientific name for the Bumblebee Bat, the world's smallest species of bat (or mammal, for that matter), at just over an inch long
Disclaimer: So, so not mine
Title: Craseonycteris Thonglongyai
Rating: PG
Fandom: Sanctuary
Characters/Pairings: Will, Kate, Henry, Nikola, John
Summary: Pretty much just an excuse to turn Nikola into the world's smallest bat
Wordcount: 678
Warnings/Notes: Utter crack. The title is from the scientific name for the Bumblebee Bat, the world's smallest species of bat (or mammal, for that matter), at just over an inch long
Disclaimer: So, so not mine
Craseonycteris Thonglongyai
"Maybe it's because he's only part vampire?"
As one, they looked over at Henry, who responded with that little rolling shrug thing he did when he couldn't quite believe what had come out of his own mouth, so wasn't at all surprised that no-one else did, either. Kate could feel her eyebrows creeping upwards.
"Come again?" Will asked. Diplomatically. Henry shrugged some more.
"Maybe it's because he's only a half-vampire. Like, maybe, if you want to turn into a real vampire bat, you have to be a real vampire? Or something? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time a machine like this has recognised the Source Blood ..."
He faltered, stopped, but the damage was pretty much done. Kate kinda figured he wished he'd stopped talking before he'd ever opened his mouth in the first place.
"So," she said, not unkindly. "When Dr Magnus gets back, we're going to be telling her that, not only did we get her favourite vampire turned into teeny-tiny flying rodent while she was gone, but we kinda think that the machine that did it was biased against him, and that's why he's currently shorter than my thumb?"
"He's not that small," Will protested, at more or less the same moment Henry argued "Bats aren't rodents!" Kate stared at the pair of them.
"Ri-ight. Okay. First? Not the point. Second, he is that small, considering Druitt just has to crook one knuckle to skim his entire spine. And thirdly, why are we letting Jack the Ripper do the holding, again?"
They paused, glancing at each other, and then the three of them turned to look down into the observation room. Turned to look at the lean, deadly figure of John Druitt sitting perched on an examination table, staring intently down at his hands, where, nestled in one palm with tiny clawed wings wrapped around a thumb, an exceptionally tiny Nikola Tesla curled quivering. Druitt's expression was curiously intent, fascinated, and the curl of his finger as it smoothed over the tiny spine was almost creepily gentle. To be honest, Kate wasn't sure which part of the picture weirded her out more: the impossibly small mammal that half an hour ago had been an impossibly aggravating vampire, or the almost-tender look on Jack the Ripper's face.
"So," Will said at last, with forced brightness. "To sum up. Sorry, Dr Magnus, but not only did we kinda accidentally let one of your oldest friends be turned into the world's smallest mammal, but then, once he was tiny and fragile and really, incredibly breakable, we may have, sort of, accidentally, handed him over to your murdering ex-boyfriend, who possibly hates his guts, while we went upstairs to have a small freak-out. Um. That about cover it?"
"Erm," Henry said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "There's, uh, the part about not knowing where the machine came from, or why he had it, or how we go about turning him back ..."
"Somehow," Kate said, "I think she's going to be more upset about putting tiny bat!Tesla in Jack the Ripper's hands than she is about fixing yet another wonky machine, don't you?"
"Okay," Will smiled, way too brightly. "So. Who's going to go in there and get the baby bat back?"
Kate looked at Henry. Henry looked at Kate. They both looked down, once again, to watch Druitt carefully lift his hand towards his face, blow gently across tiny, sensitive ears, and smile a really damn creepy smile as claws pricked at his thumb in quivering retribution. The expression on the bat's face was impossible to make out at this distance, but considering he was Tesla, ridiculously small and breakable or no, Kate was willing to bet on blistering arrogance and a good deal of huff. Druitt laughed, gently, and softly scritched at the base of a fragile skull, cupping his tiny ... friend? enemy? all of the above? ... gently in his palm.
"You know what?" she said, after a moment's careful consideration, and another one just to get over the weirdness of it all over again. "How about we let Magnus rescue the littlest vampire, huh? On the grounds that that's probably less brain-breaking and potentially fatal for all concerned?"
"Seconded," Henry agreed, fervently, and they both looked at Will. Who looked down at the getting-freakier-by-the-minute tableau in the observation room, and back up at them, and Kate could see just by his expression that none of them were going anywhere near Jackie-boy and his new best friend any time in the near future.
"One of us keeps an eye on them at all times," Will instructed, with a reasonable attempt at authority only barely spoiled by the vaguely wild look in his eyes and the sheepish curl in the corner of his mouth. "It won't help much if Druitt decides to squash him, but at least we can say we didn't leave him alone to do it ..."
"Maybe he can't squash him," Henry said hopefully. "I mean, he's still a vampire, right? Maybe he's still a supernaturally strong, incredibly tiny, vampire-not-vampire bat?"
Kate stared at him a little, then shook her head and rested a commiserating hand on his shoulder. "You keep telling yourself that, Hank. Keep telling yourself that."
They both pretended not to see Will's tiny smirk.
"Maybe it's because he's only part vampire?"
As one, they looked over at Henry, who responded with that little rolling shrug thing he did when he couldn't quite believe what had come out of his own mouth, so wasn't at all surprised that no-one else did, either. Kate could feel her eyebrows creeping upwards.
"Come again?" Will asked. Diplomatically. Henry shrugged some more.
"Maybe it's because he's only a half-vampire. Like, maybe, if you want to turn into a real vampire bat, you have to be a real vampire? Or something? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time a machine like this has recognised the Source Blood ..."
He faltered, stopped, but the damage was pretty much done. Kate kinda figured he wished he'd stopped talking before he'd ever opened his mouth in the first place.
"So," she said, not unkindly. "When Dr Magnus gets back, we're going to be telling her that, not only did we get her favourite vampire turned into teeny-tiny flying rodent while she was gone, but we kinda think that the machine that did it was biased against him, and that's why he's currently shorter than my thumb?"
"He's not that small," Will protested, at more or less the same moment Henry argued "Bats aren't rodents!" Kate stared at the pair of them.
"Ri-ight. Okay. First? Not the point. Second, he is that small, considering Druitt just has to crook one knuckle to skim his entire spine. And thirdly, why are we letting Jack the Ripper do the holding, again?"
They paused, glancing at each other, and then the three of them turned to look down into the observation room. Turned to look at the lean, deadly figure of John Druitt sitting perched on an examination table, staring intently down at his hands, where, nestled in one palm with tiny clawed wings wrapped around a thumb, an exceptionally tiny Nikola Tesla curled quivering. Druitt's expression was curiously intent, fascinated, and the curl of his finger as it smoothed over the tiny spine was almost creepily gentle. To be honest, Kate wasn't sure which part of the picture weirded her out more: the impossibly small mammal that half an hour ago had been an impossibly aggravating vampire, or the almost-tender look on Jack the Ripper's face.
"So," Will said at last, with forced brightness. "To sum up. Sorry, Dr Magnus, but not only did we kinda accidentally let one of your oldest friends be turned into the world's smallest mammal, but then, once he was tiny and fragile and really, incredibly breakable, we may have, sort of, accidentally, handed him over to your murdering ex-boyfriend, who possibly hates his guts, while we went upstairs to have a small freak-out. Um. That about cover it?"
"Erm," Henry said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "There's, uh, the part about not knowing where the machine came from, or why he had it, or how we go about turning him back ..."
"Somehow," Kate said, "I think she's going to be more upset about putting tiny bat!Tesla in Jack the Ripper's hands than she is about fixing yet another wonky machine, don't you?"
"Okay," Will smiled, way too brightly. "So. Who's going to go in there and get the baby bat back?"
Kate looked at Henry. Henry looked at Kate. They both looked down, once again, to watch Druitt carefully lift his hand towards his face, blow gently across tiny, sensitive ears, and smile a really damn creepy smile as claws pricked at his thumb in quivering retribution. The expression on the bat's face was impossible to make out at this distance, but considering he was Tesla, ridiculously small and breakable or no, Kate was willing to bet on blistering arrogance and a good deal of huff. Druitt laughed, gently, and softly scritched at the base of a fragile skull, cupping his tiny ... friend? enemy? all of the above? ... gently in his palm.
"You know what?" she said, after a moment's careful consideration, and another one just to get over the weirdness of it all over again. "How about we let Magnus rescue the littlest vampire, huh? On the grounds that that's probably less brain-breaking and potentially fatal for all concerned?"
"Seconded," Henry agreed, fervently, and they both looked at Will. Who looked down at the getting-freakier-by-the-minute tableau in the observation room, and back up at them, and Kate could see just by his expression that none of them were going anywhere near Jackie-boy and his new best friend any time in the near future.
"One of us keeps an eye on them at all times," Will instructed, with a reasonable attempt at authority only barely spoiled by the vaguely wild look in his eyes and the sheepish curl in the corner of his mouth. "It won't help much if Druitt decides to squash him, but at least we can say we didn't leave him alone to do it ..."
"Maybe he can't squash him," Henry said hopefully. "I mean, he's still a vampire, right? Maybe he's still a supernaturally strong, incredibly tiny, vampire-not-vampire bat?"
Kate stared at him a little, then shook her head and rested a commiserating hand on his shoulder. "You keep telling yourself that, Hank. Keep telling yourself that."
They both pretended not to see Will's tiny smirk.
