Just thinking about the Helicarrier scenes again. And, um ... Is it just me, or was pretty much the entirety of SHIELD really just not on the ball, in that sequence?

Because, aside from anything else, Tony Stark apparently waltzed onto an entire bridge full of agents, and planted a bug hack at Fury's fucking personal station, in full view of everyone, with no-one any the wiser because he was just that flamboyant. Not only that, but he then turned around and pointed out a SHIELD agent playing goddamn Galaga, in a frankly beautiful piece of simultaneous lampshading and misdirection. Yes, there are illicit shenanigans going on here, but the only ones you are going to see are your own. And nobody notices until, what, an hour later, when JARVIS trips a firewall or something? Which shortly doesn't matter anyway, because Clint swoops in and hacks them again.

Their cyber security is shite, is what I'm saying. But also, their normal security is also shite. Clint, you don't mind so much, because that was an assault for distraction, by someone who presumably knew the layout, and a goddamn hacker arrow from archer/spy in the ceiling. But Tony? Who just walked in and did his 'smile for the press and do the absent-minded asshole' bit, and got the same result? Maybe their tech couldn't hope to match his, but shouldn't someone on the bridge full of agents have spotted him, you know, planting it in the first place?

That's not going near Cap. What, you couldn't put a fucking alarm on your hold full of top secret weapons, so that at least you'll notice if someone physically wrenches a door open? Never mind putting, you know, guards on it? Even leaving aside that maybe Fury was trusting and/or testing the Avengers (one hopes the latter), there's also the fact that the carrier was carrying Loki. A Loki everyone strongly suspected wanted to be there, and no-one really knew why. You didn't think beefing up your manned and unmanned security might be a wise precaution?

I'm just saying that, in short order, Loki, Tony, JARVIS, Cap, and Clint all practically waltzed past every non-existent piece of security they supposedly had. Now, maybe some of them (Tony, possibly, maybe Cap), were being allowed to, because they can't really be stopped, and can be trusted not to do anything really terrible even with what they do find out, but still. Five people got through. Not to mention the council's orders at the end. Frankly, they're probably lucky the thing stayed in the air as long as it did. There are sieves less leaky than the security on that thing.

My favourite is still Tony, though. Mostly because he swooped in and fooled government agents using the exact same trick he's been using all his life to sideline the press. And, you know, also Loki, later. With the flamboyance, and the assholishness, and the sleight of hand, and the directing attention away from himself as required with a mention of the Galaga guy, or Thor, or anything designed to make people look away for a second, or suspect the wrong sneaky thing. And I also loved that he came onboard prepared. He had the bug on him, and JARVIS ready to upload, before he ever went anywhere near SHIELD.

Which suggests the slightly alarming possibility that Tony Stark a) could rather handily turn a lifetime of press training and tech savvy into a reasonably lucrative espionage/industrial sabotage career, and b) is possibly as/more paranoid than Nick fucking Fury.

Never mind the security leaks. I'm surprised the Helicarrier didn't sink just from the combined weight of paranoia. Between Fury, SHIELD, Tony, Bruce, and the results of Loki's games ...

Um. In short? Nick, honey, when you're working on getting that thing in the air again, this time? You might want to invest in some actual security. Also, some training on 'things we do not let the paranoid geniuses onboard do', first among them being, don't let them near command consoles. I'd say don't let them near consoles unattended, but apparently having an entire bridge full of agents, including Maria Hill, in attendance didn't stop Tony Stark. So.

Maybe he was testing them. Maybe he was trusting them. Maybe the Helicarrier was just too new, and the crew too distracted by other things. Like the god of lies in their detention facility, and the goddamn Hulk-in-waiting down in their labs. But ... Either way. That's a massive failure to be either practical or paranoid enough, and ... that's kind of disappointing, from the guy who can otherwise play heroes like harps with a handful of cards and some well-chosen phrases.

Tony, though? You keep rocking the paranoid, flamboyant, sneaky-ass genius bit, honey. It's a thing of beauty, it really is.
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