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Shipping vs Pairing. Or my version thereof, anyway. Possibly weird in that I actually see a difference between the two? To explain the ways in which I am not picky, and the ways in which I am very picky indeed, and why. Contains lots of examples, because I like talking about them. *grins*
Pairing vs 'Shipping
I have a complicated relationship with these, mostly because I see them as separate and not necessarily interchangeable processes. Heh.
If I ship someone, it means they have a relationship I believe in based on an abiding emotion (not necessarily love, either).
If I pair someone, it means they're having sex, to put it bluntly.
Sometimes, the two processes coincide, and I'll happily take the couple/threesome/moresome in question any way I can get them. Sometimes it's either/or, with the same people, in that I'd believe them having sex, or caring about each other, but not both at the same time. Sometimes I ship people, but would never in a million years pair them. Sometimes I pair people, but can't ever see it as more than a one-night-stand kind of gig, even if that one-night in actuality stretches over years.
The other reason it's complicated is that I don't go into fandoms with favourite ships/pairs. I go into fandoms with favourite characters, and look around for who might make them happy, or at least sad in interesting ways (cold, yes, I know). This means that I could have one character that I ship/pair with about fifteen others, which makes things like OTPs somewhat difficult. Heh.
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Examples (or Big Long Rambly Bit on Who I Ship vs Who I Pair vs Who Neither vs Who Both):
Usually I work it based on the characters involved. Some are more prone to shipping than pairing, for example, while others I would pair with anything on two legs (or more legs, or no legs at all - I'm in a lot of sci-fi/fantasy fandoms, after all), but it would take someone truly special for me to ship them with. Heh. Some ships I find hard because they really would be beautiful together, but one of the characters just won't ... fit. Then again, that does make for lovely, lovely angst ...
Hmm. The big three of Trek TOS is a good example, I think. Take Kirk. I'd pair him with just about anybody, mostly because James T. Kirk would probably do it with anything that stood still long enough, but I ship him with exactly one - The Enterprise - because that's the one deep and abiding personal loyalty he has. I might, might, ship him S/K/Mc, because between the two of them they might balance him out into an actual relationship, but I'm just a mite sceptical.
Spock, on the other hand, I don't pair at all unless I also ship him with that person, mostly because I think Spock doesn't pair himself unless there's emotion involved, same as any Vulcan. Which is only common sense, considering they're touch-telepaths. I wouldn't fancy being touched intimately be someone when it transmitted the fact they hated my guts, or viewed me as an object to be used, and I doubt they do either. They don't have the option that humans do, to make touch a purely physical pleasure. For a Vulcan, it has to be an emotional commitment. Which is why I don't really pair him with Kirk, because for Kirk touch/sex is anything but. McCoy, on the other hand ...
Uhura would be mostly the same as Spock, for me, despite being human. Mostly because I don't see her as offering up what respect she's earned as a person just for a night of physical pleasure. On the other hand, the girl does know how to have fun. *tilts head* Depends on who she's being paired with, whether I believe it or not. Her and Scotty do go nicely together ...
Moving on! Let's see. The Doctor, as in Who, is one of the ones I ship with any number of people, but pairing-wise I'm a wee bit more picky. There are certain incarnations I find easier to pair than others, and certain relationships I find easier to see as sexual than others.
The biggest example of how complicated I find him to be that way would be the Doctor/Master relationship, which is complicated to start with because it's not exactly based on love, or even friendship (though that is part of it), but rather on a tenuous balance of hate and loyalty. I ship them forever, but I would only pair them in certain incarnations and under certain circumstances. Four/Ainley, not a chance, for example. Ditto Six/Ainley (even though I've done it), because it honestly just would not occur to Six outside of crisis situations, and I can't see the Master letting himself go that far. Five/Ainley, on the other hand, definitely, because the fifth doctor was just emotionally vulnerable enough to be taunted into it, or taken advantage of. Ten/Simm, much the same, though in that case they're both emotionally shot to shit, with the Doctor edging over on strength. Three/Delgado, and oddly enough Seven/Ainley, are a different matter, in that I could see it happening, but as a matter between people of equals. Three/Delgado, it would be a gentlemanly affair, while Seven/Ainley it would be a physical extension of their emotional/mental manipulations.
Some characters, though, I'd both ship and/or pair with anybody (within reason). Bruce Wayne, for example. Mostly because when he gets attached to people, he gets vehemently attached, and sex could happen in almost any of those relationships because, let's face it, it would be the least complicating factor. The only places I'd make an exception would be with the Robins and Alfred, because inside the familial bonds I really, really don't feel the need for pairings.
Diana would be much the same, because she doesn't strike me as a woman in any way nervous physically. Someone like J'onn, though, I'd be more careful with. Generally I'd only pair him with someone I also shipped him with, as a friend or a lover, not an enemy. Perhaps for similar reasons as Spock. Telepathy, to my mind, would make physical relationships complicated, especially when added to the generally loyal and caring natures of both these men.
There are some ships, too, that I am fanatically devoted to, but I would never consider pairing them. Holmes/Watson, for example, is true love of the most elemental kind, to my eyes, but it's not a pairing, because whenever I try to picture them actually having sex, my brain breaks. No, really. They are married, they would die for each other, on occasion they would cheerfully kill each other, they would follow each other to the ends of the earth, but I can't for the life of me picture them having a sexual relationship. A sort of mutual lack of interest.
Javert/Valjean, another example, though not so much love in this case as a complicated combination of respect, hate, admiration and possessiveness. Unlike Holmes/Watson, though, the lack of physical interest in this one is all Javert's fault. Valjean makes him feel and think things he would never, ever have felt/thought otherwise, and there is a part of him I'm sure values that, but the fact remains that Javert would sooner die than touch Valjean that way, or indeed any way that might possibly be construed as emotionally motivated. *shakes head at him*
One of my favourite het ships is also one I'd never pair, Garcia/Morgan from Criminal minds. Because they love and adore each other, and look out for each other, and would die for each other, but I think at some point a long time ago they decided they were not going to have sex be a part of it.
I ship a lot of teams and partnerships like this, too. In part because I'm in love with the dynamic of teams, the bonds of family, friends, brothers/sisters-in-arms ... all emotional relationships I find precious and deep, and none of which I see any particular need to complicate with desire. The A-team, for example, I ship as OT4, but I need very, very strong persuasion before I see any of them pairing up. They don't need to. Face and Hannibal are the two most sexual of them, and both of them find plenty of outside relationships to fill that need. Within the team, I can't help but feel it's mostly the safety and connection of being with friends you trust and know would die for you at a moment's notice. Bodie and Doyle would be the same, and Crocket and Tubbs.
Starsky and Hutch, on the other hand, I would cheerfully ship, pair or any combination of the above. Illya and Napoleon, ditto. *grins* Personally, if those two were going to pair, though, I'd put my money on Illya starting it, mostly because, as Napoleon notes, he's very sneaky. *snickers* SGA-1 is another team that could pair off, or be OT4, or be nothing other than friends, and I'd be happy. I'm highly sceptical of McShep, though, for some reason. I'm not sure why. Possibly they're a bit Holmes&Watson to me. McKay/Zelenka, on the other hand, I could see as a pairing, because Radek is just the kind of sneaky bugger who'd get away with it. Sheppard/Weir, I could also see.
Enemy-fic can be this way too. Depending on the enemies in question. I ship quite a lot of enemy pairs, hatred being as strong a connecting force as love sometimes, but only some would I pair on top of it. Doctor/Master, as said, depends on incarnation. Javert/Valjean, not a hope. Wufei/Treize, though, in a heartbeat. Avon/Servalan, in as horribly manipulative a manner as possible? Definitely! Actually, while on that subject ... I do ship Avon/Blake. I even pair them. Not because I want to, but because it's there, it's real, and they could slip into physical all too easily. And yes, I classify this as an enemy ship. Which is why it hurts.
Rival-fic comes into it too, for that nice competitive edge without the outright animosity. Aziraphale/Crowley would be one of my top ships here, for two people who are only technically enemies, and loyal friends, and sneaky competitors in the game of life. Pairing them ... I can see it. I can. In my head, though, for some reason, it's actually Zira's fault, not Crowley's, because like Illya, Aziraphale is a damn sneaky bastard, and he's got his demon wrapped around his plump little finger. *grins*
A lot of my anime ships fall here, too. The Saiyuki boys, for example, because while that is friendship, it's not unity, and barely teamwork, and mostly consists of them trying repeatedly to one-up each other. *tilts head* Actually, this might be why I pair Sanzo/Gojyo, while shipping Gojyo/Hakkai. But while I ship the lot of them, I don't pair Goku at all, with any of them. I have a minor chan squick, and yes, I know he's really 800+, but not mentally. Heh. And speaking of Goku's ... Goku/Vegeta is emphatically here. I ship them. Whether I pair them depends on my mood, but I do like them with their wives, so it tends to be rare.
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Heh. I suppose, when it comes down to it, I guess I'm actually pickier than I thought I was. It's just that I'm only picky about pairings, not ships, which is why I tend to get confused over ship-wars and the like. I think sometimes that the only way it's acceptable to ship someone is to pair them too, that the only way it's acceptable to show emotional intimacy is through physical intimacy, and that's why people get hot under the collar about pairings. You can see the emotion there, the devotion between the characters, the depth of meaning they have for each other, and you want to show it, even if one of them is so straight it hurts, or married, or not human, or not physically in existence at all. Heh. And then you get canon perfectionists screaming at you, and people with various and justified squicks freaking out. Oi vey.
But I like ships. I'll read any ship. I'll probably believe any ship, even if the characters never met, because if they had met, then I could see it happening. There's just some pairings I'd be less likely to touch. I'm not a fan of incest, even in families that are not bound by actual blood. I'm leery of underage characters in pairings. But that doesn't mean I don't see the connection. I'm just ... not going to be reading anything with actual sex in it, with them involved. Heh.
So. There you have it. *blinks a bit* I'm not sure why I felt the need to give it, but there you have it anyway. *grins*
From:
no subject
Ship Wars do not make sense to me. OTPs do not have to be inviolable...
Yeah, not with most of fandom on concepts here either.
From:
no subject
*shakes head* Don't get them at all. Characters, like people, are entitled to care about more than one person at a time. Yes?
*blinks a bit* Yeah. I'm actually kinda curious about that. Am I actually working off a completely different definition of 'ship' and 'pair' to most of fandom? Because that would explain a lot ...
From:
no subject
And yeah...90% of fandom seems to be there for the sex. So ship/pair is interchangeable to them. About 85% of those prefer to throw their weight into a popular 'pairing' and be rabid about it.
That's just what I see.
From:
no subject
Heh. I think I got lucky in that sense, with my current flists. I haven't gotten involved in a ship war (which should probably be 'pair war'), accidentally or otherwise, in years. Possibly due to trauma, considering I started out in the HP fandom, and wow, did that one ever get real rabid, real fast. You couldn't write anything without getting jumped on by somebody.
*shakes head* Bewildering.