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I am in bits. I'm in pieces. Shit.
I saw a random fanvid during the week, and on the strength of it I decided to watch through a Chinese historical drama, set in 4th century Southern Liang, called Lang Ya Bang/Nirvana in Fire. 54 episodes, 36 hours worth of show, and I've watched it all at once over the past ... I don't know, five or six days?
I am in pieces.
I just finished the last episode a few minutes ago. This is the first C-drama I've ever really watched, and I think I must have gotten a good one. That was probably one of the most emotionally intense rides I've ever gotten out of a show. Ever. At all. Some of that is probably a result of watching it all at once, some of it is probably because I'm a little emotional at the minute now anyway, but mostly ... mostly I think it was just fucking good. This last episode, the finale, about snapped me in half. I am in bits. I just am.
I'm trying not to spoil anything here. This is not a show that should be spoiled. I'm trying to keep this vague, but a couple of details may slip in. Just ... I'm not thinking entirely sensibly at the minute.
I saw a random fanvid during the week, and on the strength of it I decided to watch through a Chinese historical drama, set in 4th century Southern Liang, called Lang Ya Bang/Nirvana in Fire. 54 episodes, 36 hours worth of show, and I've watched it all at once over the past ... I don't know, five or six days?
I am in pieces.
I just finished the last episode a few minutes ago. This is the first C-drama I've ever really watched, and I think I must have gotten a good one. That was probably one of the most emotionally intense rides I've ever gotten out of a show. Ever. At all. Some of that is probably a result of watching it all at once, some of it is probably because I'm a little emotional at the minute now anyway, but mostly ... mostly I think it was just fucking good. This last episode, the finale, about snapped me in half. I am in bits. I just am.
I'm trying not to spoil anything here. This is not a show that should be spoiled. I'm trying to keep this vague, but a couple of details may slip in. Just ... I'm not thinking entirely sensibly at the minute.
It was a hell of a ride. I'm not sure I meant to watch it so intensely or obsessively. It's just that the episodes go so fast, lead you to the next one so compulsively. At first, it was fascination, what the hell is this guy going to do next, how is everyone else going to fall around him, but then as things get more and more intense, it's because I had to know if they were all okay. It got up to around episode 28-ish, episodes 30-40, and the whole thing was just so goddamned intense, I'm here praying at the screen, please god, pull something out of the hat, please say this isn't as disastrous as it looks, please have a way around this. And, you know. It's episode 30. Out of 54. Of course they're going to pull something out of the hat. But. But what's it going to cost? Can they do it in time? Is it going to be okay? Like, I forgot. It's only half way through, it's not going to end in tears here. But I forgot. I had to see the next episode, because what if it did? What if it ended in tears? I had to keep watching, despite all logic.
And now I've seen the ending. Just now. And it's ... it's perfect. It fits. It is absolutely the perfect ending for this story, these people. I am bawling my fucking eyes out. I was pretty much bawling all the way through the last few episodes. I was sitting there with my hands over my mouth in tears for the whole of the last episode. It's just ... It really got me.
This story has a lot of things that are ... tailor-made for me emotionally. My tropes, you know? There's the physically fragile, heartbroken trickster hero who's become a manipulative schemer out of sheer necessity and hates it but does it anyway. There's the stubbornly loyal and honourable prince who doesn't know what's going on but is going to do his duty no matter what happens to him because of it. There are the loyal and decent people around them who are getting pushed and pulled this way and that, getting used by villains and heroes alike, showing honour and loyalty and decency, risking their lives, uncovering horrible secrets, standing firm in the face of punishment. There are villains who can lie and scheme and nearly win, villains who you love to hate and then turn around and break your heart because they're still people too and there are these moments when you can't escape realising that. There's generations of betrayal and horror and vengeance and love and secret courage in play. There are people ...
And it's not just ... There is triumph. These people are amazing. So many of them. I mean, Su Zhe/Mei Changsu/Lin Shu (he has a lot of names), the hero, he is just ... He is incredible to watch in action. Trickster heroes are my thing, heartbroken and terminally ill ones even better (not a spoiler, in the first episode he's told he can maybe manage two years if he has about ten doctors hanging off him and doesn't do anything stupid - you can guess how well he listens to that). Watching him fight people on a strategic scale is awe inspiring. Especially one turn-around, the lynchpin scheme, I think my heart came out of my chest. There were about three or four episodes of nothing but unrelenting disaster, I was about ready to try and crawl through the screen and fix it myself, and then it just ... It's amazing. This is my jam, this is what I love trickster heroes for. I'm just sitting there all: You. You with the plan. I love you. Fuck. Don't do that again. I'm not able.
And the others. Prince Jing, said honourable and stubborn idiot of a prince above, he's lovely and the source of so much angst. I was so close to walloping both him and everybody sodding else on his behalf. For the love of god, people, somebody tell the guy the truth! Princess Nihuang is tragic and awesome, naturally, and Xia Dong, jesus lady you had it rough. Yujin and Jingrui, you guys are adorable and so good and wow. Wow. I'm so sorry. But. General Meng. Consort Jing. If I am picking favourites here. Meng is so loyal and honest and straightforward, and just ... he practically promises to stand up in court and die for a man the minute they're reunited. It's been twelve years, this guy shows up out of the blue, they didn't even know each other that well before, and Meng just promises to die for him if necessary right there on the spot. He's adorable, and he's so not up for scheming, he's the kind of guy that people manipulate all the time and he knows it, and he's just ... he's so loyal. I deeply adore him. And Consort Jing. Prince Jing's mother. She doesn't do much for the first half of the show, a few important things, but then once her son decides he's going to sail himself right into the firing line of court intrigue, holy shit does she stand up. She is dauntless and smooth as goddamned silk and when it comes to calm, gentle manipulation she's got Su Zhe beat stone cold. She is just ... She's amazing.
I'm trying not to spoil anything here, in case anyone wants to watch (you all need to watch). I don't know if I'm succeeding. I'm trying to be vague. So much of the payoff with this show is not knowing what's coming. I mean. It's not going to end in tears on episode 30. Obviously not. But it could. You really feel it could. (Not 30 specifically, I can't remember which things happened in which particular episode, but the late 20s through the 30s is where the whole shooting match gets intense. Like, I can't breathe over here, that kind of intense). And the payoffs ... Fuck. It builds. It builds, and the ending fits, and I swear to god I spent about two and a half hours crying solidly through the last few episodes. I know, I am probably emotional for a variety of reasons, it probably wasn't just the show, but ... But it was probably mostly the show. I am in bits.
You guys should watch it. It's ... You need time. At 54 episodes and 40 minutes a pop, this is about 36 hours worth of an investment. And ... it would be hard to space out, maybe? I don't know. I had to watch it now. I'm lucky I don't start work again until tomorrow. But. People made of sterner stuff than me, maybe you can space it out better. It's still a fair bit of an investment. It is so fucking worth it, though. It really is. If you like historical drama, wire-fu martial arts, trickster heroes, amazing court intrigues, ingenious plans, and most of all loyalty and honour and conflicting loyalties and intense devotion and betrayal and ancient sins and triumph over past despair, WATCH THIS SHOW. Just. Watch it.
I watched it here: https://www.viki.com/tv/22943c-nirvana-in-fire
All of the episodes are there, with English subtitles. I'm pretty sure it's a fansub, the titles are a bit rough and ready and there are a few terms in particular that are noticeably translated differently at different times, but. Trust me. It gives the gist well enough.
(If you want a flavour, here's the End Theme, sung by the main lead, it gives some hints of the show and is just a lovely song as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6bFifUGWHc Most of those clips, barring the ones of Hu Ge singing and a couple of others, have been used in the end theme since episode 1, and some of them don't get explained until literally the last episode. As you go through the show, you understand more and more of the end theme. Some of those things are heartbreaking in context, and others are a lot more awesome than they look).
I need to get this on DVD with english subtitles. It was only out this year, I don't know if that's actually possible yet (or at all), but I desperately need this show. To keep, not somewhere it could be taken down. I need this on DVD. No question.
Okay. Okay. I'm going to go calm down now. That was ... Wow. That was amazing.
And now I've seen the ending. Just now. And it's ... it's perfect. It fits. It is absolutely the perfect ending for this story, these people. I am bawling my fucking eyes out. I was pretty much bawling all the way through the last few episodes. I was sitting there with my hands over my mouth in tears for the whole of the last episode. It's just ... It really got me.
This story has a lot of things that are ... tailor-made for me emotionally. My tropes, you know? There's the physically fragile, heartbroken trickster hero who's become a manipulative schemer out of sheer necessity and hates it but does it anyway. There's the stubbornly loyal and honourable prince who doesn't know what's going on but is going to do his duty no matter what happens to him because of it. There are the loyal and decent people around them who are getting pushed and pulled this way and that, getting used by villains and heroes alike, showing honour and loyalty and decency, risking their lives, uncovering horrible secrets, standing firm in the face of punishment. There are villains who can lie and scheme and nearly win, villains who you love to hate and then turn around and break your heart because they're still people too and there are these moments when you can't escape realising that. There's generations of betrayal and horror and vengeance and love and secret courage in play. There are people ...
And it's not just ... There is triumph. These people are amazing. So many of them. I mean, Su Zhe/Mei Changsu/Lin Shu (he has a lot of names), the hero, he is just ... He is incredible to watch in action. Trickster heroes are my thing, heartbroken and terminally ill ones even better (not a spoiler, in the first episode he's told he can maybe manage two years if he has about ten doctors hanging off him and doesn't do anything stupid - you can guess how well he listens to that). Watching him fight people on a strategic scale is awe inspiring. Especially one turn-around, the lynchpin scheme, I think my heart came out of my chest. There were about three or four episodes of nothing but unrelenting disaster, I was about ready to try and crawl through the screen and fix it myself, and then it just ... It's amazing. This is my jam, this is what I love trickster heroes for. I'm just sitting there all: You. You with the plan. I love you. Fuck. Don't do that again. I'm not able.
And the others. Prince Jing, said honourable and stubborn idiot of a prince above, he's lovely and the source of so much angst. I was so close to walloping both him and everybody sodding else on his behalf. For the love of god, people, somebody tell the guy the truth! Princess Nihuang is tragic and awesome, naturally, and Xia Dong, jesus lady you had it rough. Yujin and Jingrui, you guys are adorable and so good and wow. Wow. I'm so sorry. But. General Meng. Consort Jing. If I am picking favourites here. Meng is so loyal and honest and straightforward, and just ... he practically promises to stand up in court and die for a man the minute they're reunited. It's been twelve years, this guy shows up out of the blue, they didn't even know each other that well before, and Meng just promises to die for him if necessary right there on the spot. He's adorable, and he's so not up for scheming, he's the kind of guy that people manipulate all the time and he knows it, and he's just ... he's so loyal. I deeply adore him. And Consort Jing. Prince Jing's mother. She doesn't do much for the first half of the show, a few important things, but then once her son decides he's going to sail himself right into the firing line of court intrigue, holy shit does she stand up. She is dauntless and smooth as goddamned silk and when it comes to calm, gentle manipulation she's got Su Zhe beat stone cold. She is just ... She's amazing.
I'm trying not to spoil anything here, in case anyone wants to watch (you all need to watch). I don't know if I'm succeeding. I'm trying to be vague. So much of the payoff with this show is not knowing what's coming. I mean. It's not going to end in tears on episode 30. Obviously not. But it could. You really feel it could. (Not 30 specifically, I can't remember which things happened in which particular episode, but the late 20s through the 30s is where the whole shooting match gets intense. Like, I can't breathe over here, that kind of intense). And the payoffs ... Fuck. It builds. It builds, and the ending fits, and I swear to god I spent about two and a half hours crying solidly through the last few episodes. I know, I am probably emotional for a variety of reasons, it probably wasn't just the show, but ... But it was probably mostly the show. I am in bits.
You guys should watch it. It's ... You need time. At 54 episodes and 40 minutes a pop, this is about 36 hours worth of an investment. And ... it would be hard to space out, maybe? I don't know. I had to watch it now. I'm lucky I don't start work again until tomorrow. But. People made of sterner stuff than me, maybe you can space it out better. It's still a fair bit of an investment. It is so fucking worth it, though. It really is. If you like historical drama, wire-fu martial arts, trickster heroes, amazing court intrigues, ingenious plans, and most of all loyalty and honour and conflicting loyalties and intense devotion and betrayal and ancient sins and triumph over past despair, WATCH THIS SHOW. Just. Watch it.
I watched it here: https://www.viki.com/tv/22943c-nirvana-in-fire
All of the episodes are there, with English subtitles. I'm pretty sure it's a fansub, the titles are a bit rough and ready and there are a few terms in particular that are noticeably translated differently at different times, but. Trust me. It gives the gist well enough.
(If you want a flavour, here's the End Theme, sung by the main lead, it gives some hints of the show and is just a lovely song as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6bFifUGWHc Most of those clips, barring the ones of Hu Ge singing and a couple of others, have been used in the end theme since episode 1, and some of them don't get explained until literally the last episode. As you go through the show, you understand more and more of the end theme. Some of those things are heartbreaking in context, and others are a lot more awesome than they look).
I need to get this on DVD with english subtitles. It was only out this year, I don't know if that's actually possible yet (or at all), but I desperately need this show. To keep, not somewhere it could be taken down. I need this on DVD. No question.
Okay. Okay. I'm going to go calm down now. That was ... Wow. That was amazing.
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