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*muses* You know in Babylon 5, the Shadows and the Vorlons each had a keynote question that they asked everyone, to decide if they were worthy? The Shadows had "What do you want?" and the Vorlons had "Who are you?".
I never really understood the latter question from a philosophical standpoint. You know, one of the 'great mystery' questions, who are you really. I never quite got that, I think.
I never really understood the latter question from a philosophical standpoint. You know, one of the 'great mystery' questions, who are you really. I never quite got that, I think.
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*rubs face* Right. The past week or so has been a cluster of really heavy, often painful, and sometimes aggressive conversations in my family. (Clusters like that tend to happen occasionally, when too many factors converge on too many people - they also tend to domino). Because some of those discussion are my mother and sister attempting to navigate the differences between their general understandings of things versus mine and my father's (with some big differences emerging between the two of them, too, and some between my father and I, but, y'know, different people, even outside of the gross divides of brain chemistry), my mother started researching Aspergers again. (Which, as a general response, I can't fault. When in doubt, acquire more information).
There were a lot of things that bubbled up during the week, most of which I don't really want to talk about. But there was one thing, because my mam was reading Baron-Cohen and it came up, that sort of fascinated me.
In the book she was reading, the author said two things that impacted me (not sure about the rest).
There were a lot of things that bubbled up during the week, most of which I don't really want to talk about. But there was one thing, because my mam was reading Baron-Cohen and it came up, that sort of fascinated me.
In the book she was reading, the author said two things that impacted me (not sure about the rest).
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Okay. Some musings on the concepts of virtue, specifically in relation to religion. (And you can blame, at least in part, Saiyuki, Havelock Vetinari, and Good Omens. Who says fiction doesn't make you think?)
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While it's in my head, really.
The system exists.
I've had this described as an Article of my Faith. Heh. And I rather suppose it is, at that. Faith because I have no proof, only a bone-deep conviction that smacks more than a little of desperation. *smiles faintly* But it is an article of my faith. I do believe it. I rather think I have to. Otherwise I'd go quite mad (naturally this assumes that such an event has not already happened - a questionable assumption, really).
The system exists. There are rules in operation, a cause-and-effect to all things. A multiplicity of them, it's true, and the overall system is not a monolith, but a vast and intricate interlocking of myriad smaller systems into a whole, with certain rules underlying. Many of those rules we can't see yet, don't understand, and then we think it chaos, but the rules exist, they really do, we just can't see them. There is an underlying rationality to all things. Everything has a cause. Everything comes from somewhere, some confluence of factors in the interlocking of systems that gives birth to that thing, in that time. There is reason. The system exists.
I think that might be the closest thing to a Grand Purpose that I understand. To exist. To have come from somewhere. To be presented with a world that has a cause itself. To interact with that world in such a way that satisfies the system inside you, the internal rules that govern you. To have a reason, even if only in causation. My purpose is to exist as part of the system. I'm not sure ... what else is needed. I was caused. I exist. I have internal reason. I interact, and in doing so perpetuate causation. I become part of the confluence of factors, part of the system, that causes things. That perpetuates existence. That is ... satisfying. That is ... rational. *smiles faintly*
The system exists. There is reason. I am part of it. This is, perhaps, the sum of my faith.
It is not a bad thing to believe, I think. Heh.
The system exists.
I've had this described as an Article of my Faith. Heh. And I rather suppose it is, at that. Faith because I have no proof, only a bone-deep conviction that smacks more than a little of desperation. *smiles faintly* But it is an article of my faith. I do believe it. I rather think I have to. Otherwise I'd go quite mad (naturally this assumes that such an event has not already happened - a questionable assumption, really).
The system exists. There are rules in operation, a cause-and-effect to all things. A multiplicity of them, it's true, and the overall system is not a monolith, but a vast and intricate interlocking of myriad smaller systems into a whole, with certain rules underlying. Many of those rules we can't see yet, don't understand, and then we think it chaos, but the rules exist, they really do, we just can't see them. There is an underlying rationality to all things. Everything has a cause. Everything comes from somewhere, some confluence of factors in the interlocking of systems that gives birth to that thing, in that time. There is reason. The system exists.
I think that might be the closest thing to a Grand Purpose that I understand. To exist. To have come from somewhere. To be presented with a world that has a cause itself. To interact with that world in such a way that satisfies the system inside you, the internal rules that govern you. To have a reason, even if only in causation. My purpose is to exist as part of the system. I'm not sure ... what else is needed. I was caused. I exist. I have internal reason. I interact, and in doing so perpetuate causation. I become part of the confluence of factors, part of the system, that causes things. That perpetuates existence. That is ... satisfying. That is ... rational. *smiles faintly*
The system exists. There is reason. I am part of it. This is, perhaps, the sum of my faith.
It is not a bad thing to believe, I think. Heh.
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I'm just going back over some old favourites, fiction-wise, and among them was Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (version optional, but mostly the books). And I was skimming through it, and came across the concept of the Total Perspective Vortex. Which is supposedly the most horrifying torture device in that universe, which only one man ever escaped unscathed from, purely on the grounds that the universe he was in happened to agree with his truly monumental ego. But ... Um. I think I may have missed the point of the device. Because it doesn't sound like a torture device at all.
The TPV works by showing the viewer/torturee a virtual model of the entire universe (extrapolated from a piece of fairy cake, but that's neither here nor there), and showing them their own impossibly insignificant place in it. The shock of which, the knowledge of how utterly unimportant you are in the grand scheme of things, supposedly shatters the viewer's ego and/or brain, occasionally resulting in death.
Thing is, though ... that wouldn't strike me as a torture. Because, ignoring the second part for a minute, ignoring how mindbogglingly small you are, the device shows you the universe. All of it. In its totality. The machine shows you all of creation, everything that exists. It presents, for your viewing pleasure, the whole universe.
Compared to that, isn't the fact that you may not be personally all that important sort of ... irrelevant? I mean, yes, you are to the universe as subatomic particles are to ... well, the universe. But. How does that knowledge compare to the knowledge that this, ALL of this, exists, and you now get to see it? Surely the scale of your own existence is sort of ... irrelevant? Compared to that? I mean, why would you care how small you are, when granted the chance to see, truly see, how vast the universe is?
Granted, I can still understand the device breaking your brain, quite possibly permanently. I can understand people who've been subjected to it never quite fitting the world again. I can even understand it killing people, from raw shock if nothing else. But ... if I had to pick a way to go, the option of dying while the universe in its entirity lays itself out before me, so close I could touch it ... I'd pick that. I might even pick that over the option of living. That would be ... the opposite of torture for me. That would be ... sublime. Heh.
*tilts head* Possibly, of course, I'm not quite right in the head. But still. It just doesn't seem like a torture to me. It just doesn't seem like something to fear, even if it turns out you're not the most important person in the universe, a-la Zaphod. It would be worth it. Whatever it did to you. It would be worth it.
Erm. Yes. Hehe. Anyway. Moving on ...
The TPV works by showing the viewer/torturee a virtual model of the entire universe (extrapolated from a piece of fairy cake, but that's neither here nor there), and showing them their own impossibly insignificant place in it. The shock of which, the knowledge of how utterly unimportant you are in the grand scheme of things, supposedly shatters the viewer's ego and/or brain, occasionally resulting in death.
Thing is, though ... that wouldn't strike me as a torture. Because, ignoring the second part for a minute, ignoring how mindbogglingly small you are, the device shows you the universe. All of it. In its totality. The machine shows you all of creation, everything that exists. It presents, for your viewing pleasure, the whole universe.
Compared to that, isn't the fact that you may not be personally all that important sort of ... irrelevant? I mean, yes, you are to the universe as subatomic particles are to ... well, the universe. But. How does that knowledge compare to the knowledge that this, ALL of this, exists, and you now get to see it? Surely the scale of your own existence is sort of ... irrelevant? Compared to that? I mean, why would you care how small you are, when granted the chance to see, truly see, how vast the universe is?
Granted, I can still understand the device breaking your brain, quite possibly permanently. I can understand people who've been subjected to it never quite fitting the world again. I can even understand it killing people, from raw shock if nothing else. But ... if I had to pick a way to go, the option of dying while the universe in its entirity lays itself out before me, so close I could touch it ... I'd pick that. I might even pick that over the option of living. That would be ... the opposite of torture for me. That would be ... sublime. Heh.
*tilts head* Possibly, of course, I'm not quite right in the head. But still. It just doesn't seem like a torture to me. It just doesn't seem like something to fear, even if it turns out you're not the most important person in the universe, a-la Zaphod. It would be worth it. Whatever it did to you. It would be worth it.
Erm. Yes. Hehe. Anyway. Moving on ...
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The World Which Does Not Speak:
Accepting Uncertainty
Okay. This is me, sounding something out within myself. Feel free to ignore it as the ramblings of a flibbertigibbet, if you wish. You may not be wrong. Heh. Asperger's, agnosticism, asexuality (I like 'a' identities, I think) and a few other things throw in. It connects, I think. It weaves together
Accepting Uncertainty
Okay. This is me, sounding something out within myself. Feel free to ignore it as the ramblings of a flibbertigibbet, if you wish. You may not be wrong. Heh. Asperger's, agnosticism, asexuality (I like 'a' identities, I think) and a few other things throw in. It connects, I think. It weaves together
( Rambling on ... )
"Everything will be all right if you do this."
An optimist believes it will, so long as people have faith
A cynic hopes it might, with planning and some judicious security padding
A pessimist knows it won't, no matter what anyone does
An idealist does it anyway, regardless of how they think it will turn out, because it's what should be done
A pragmatist doesn't care, so long as enough of what they value survives, because 'everything being alright' was never a realistic goal to start with
This being my personal view, at least of the hard ends of the scales. I never really thought that idealism and cynicism were actually opposing ends of one scale, given that it's perfectly possible to be a cynic and an idealist (*holds up hand*). I put cynicism as the midpoint of the optimism/pessimism scale, because it's about how you view the potential results of an action, and put pragmatism as idealism's opposite, because that's about the reasons for an action.
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Just ... laying it out so people can see where I'm coming from on certain issues. Prompted by a question of ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
merfilly 's, but I don't think she meant to inspire this mess. My problems, these.
merfilly 's, but I don't think she meant to inspire this mess. My problems, these.Tags:
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Based on all the great terrors, the Ripper, Fantomas, but inspired in particular by Stitchface from Wooding's The Haunting of Alaizabel Cray. "I am a monster, Miss Cray. But even monsters want to live." 370 words.
( Human monsters ... )
( Human monsters ... )
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Since I've been starting back in college properly, without the screaming panic ... I've started to remember why I'm so passionate about what I study, which is geography. Archaeology too, and that is certainly getting interesting again, but my passion has always really been for geography. Maybe that's strange and weird, but I don't really care. I'm remembering why I love it so much, and you couldn't shake me on it right now with a jackhammer!
Right. So I'm just going to babble about it for ... 1788 words ... and you can all take a nap, okay?
( Geography and me ... )
Right. So I'm just going to babble about it for ... 1788 words ... and you can all take a nap, okay?
( Geography and me ... )
I don't know who said it or why, but it does have a certain something ...
"Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics!"
Aside from anything else, once you say it people seem to go out of their way to give you stories to prove it.
"Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics!"
Aside from anything else, once you say it people seem to go out of their way to give you stories to prove it.
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On the subject of other people, how I understand them, and how I see them trying and too often failing to understand each other. Explanation and loooong rant-type thing under cut.
( Minds, Systems & Translations Thereof )
( Minds, Systems & Translations Thereof )
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I'm in something of a fey, metaphysical mood. And hope is important to me at the minute. Always, really. One of the cornerstones of my life, of necessity as much as anything else. But ... I've never been sure exactly what it is.
( Musings on the Nature of Emotion )
( Musings on the Nature of Emotion )
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Because a lot of things recently, both at home and out there in the big, bad world, have been forcing me to think about things. Because I am the kind of person who is prone to trying to figure out the meta-plot driving the world. Basically, because I'm a terminally curious and opinionated so'n'so. Musings about the world.
Don't read unless you really want to. Because it really is just me being stubborn and opinionated.
Caveat - take these for what they are, the musings of a fundamentally selfish and arrogant person. These are probably objectionable views. I don't care. They're my views, and people can argue with them to their heart's content. I never expect anyone to share an opinion that I probably won't even hold myself a few years down the line.
( Whys and whatfors ... )
Just needed to get that lot off my chest. Take the whole thing with the proverbial pinch of salt. After all, I *could* be wrong. I more than likely am. But I felt like saying it.
Don't read unless you really want to. Because it really is just me being stubborn and opinionated.
Caveat - take these for what they are, the musings of a fundamentally selfish and arrogant person. These are probably objectionable views. I don't care. They're my views, and people can argue with them to their heart's content. I never expect anyone to share an opinion that I probably won't even hold myself a few years down the line.
( Whys and whatfors ... )
Just needed to get that lot off my chest. Take the whole thing with the proverbial pinch of salt. After all, I *could* be wrong. I more than likely am. But I felt like saying it.
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Fatalism is not a recognition that there are no choices. Rather, it is a recognition that the choice itself is its own result and reward. If things will go as they are destined to no matter what you do, then the only reason to make a choice is to make a choice. The results of your choice do not matter, only the reasons for making it. Your choices matter to no-one but yourself, and every choice you make is selfish, based not on the effect it will have on the circumstances, but on what you can live with choosing. Fatalism is a recognition that the universe will do with itself whatever it will, and your only responsibility is what you choose to take on.
You will die. It is inevitable, immutable, and it happens to everyone. The moment you are born, you begin to die. Therefore, the only choice you can make is how you go about it, and every smaller choice is merely a facet of that larger one. Fatalism is not a comforting philosophy, because in recognising the choice as a selfish matter, it does not allow for the excuse of circumstance. Choice is a result of character, not of circumstance, therefore there can be no crying of "there was nothing else anyone could have done!" Of course there was. The universe is never so simple as to present only one option per being per situation. You cannot say there was nothing else anyone could have done. You can say, there was nothing else I could have done, because your character only allowed you to choose one option of the ones available to you. Therefore, regardless of the results, the responsibilty for your choice rests solely on your head. All choices, large and small, are reflections of your character, and all choices reveal how you have chosen to live your life.
The universe does what it will, and so do you. The end result is as inevitable as your own death, because every being makes choices based on their character, and their character is immutable. All choices have the same result. It merely manifests itself diferently. Fatalism is the ultimate recognition of freedom, and the ultimate recognition of its lack. The universe allows you free rein to choose whatever you will, but only as long as you are capable of choosing it. You are your own sole restriction.
(This is the result of thinking about one idea for too long. It is not necessarily true, or even necessarily what I believe, but I think there are some things in there that I'll probably stick to. Fatalism isn't such a bad philosphy after all, you know. I could get to liking it.)
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